Just took my morning after pill in the library
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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