I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
