We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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