So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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