Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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