You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
