Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
