Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
