I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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