did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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