names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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