I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
