Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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