At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
