why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
