I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
