Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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