Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
