No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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