dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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