remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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