i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
