Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
