and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
