Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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