so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
