No stitches, just platelets and will power
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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