So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize
