Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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