No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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