First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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