We named our party play list daddy issues
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
