Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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