you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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