glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
