Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
