You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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