I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the day after is always just damage control
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
