Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
