I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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