Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
