omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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