just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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