I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
