I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
