honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We had to coat check the pizza.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
