my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
