oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
