Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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