Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
