What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
